A New Season

Tomorrow is Labor Day…which means summer is over.

I’m sitting on my couch, staring out the window. The tree outside my window is beginning to change – a few of the leaves are turning yellow and falling to the ground below. The summer heat wave and constant sunshine has yielded to cooler temperatures and overcast skies. Soon the streets will be littered with leaves in various shades of red, orange, yellow and brown. There will be a crispness in the air, and a fragrance that always reminds me that summer is over and autumn has begun.

It feels like I blinked and the summer passed me by. Not from boredom, but from the opposite. So much has happened this summer, and happened as such a frantic pace. I’ve had little time to process it all, or even reflect on the experiences and my feelings towards them. The summer began with me wanting some excitement in my life. Now at the end of the summer, I’ve had more than enough excitement – in fact, I might have had too much. My physical surroundings changed when I moved after 3.5 years. My relatively comfy work situation has morphed into a frantic scramble reminiscent of the job I escaped from almost a year ago. I saw my family for the first time in 2013 (with the exception of my mom and sister who I saw in April). I made new friends, had some visitors, collected some admirers. And I turned a year older.

But am I wiser?

I have no idea. One word has stuck out to me as I reflect on my summer – restless. My spirit feels restless and unsettled. I have unanswered questions in my life and I don’t know when I will have the answers, or where they will come from. While I have experienced some change this summer, I feel there is still more to come, but from where and how is unclear. The things that I would like to change, I have no idea if they will…or if what I desire is what is best for me or what is meant for me.

My mind needs to slow down. I need time to regroup and gain understanding. Meditation, yoga and journaling willl be my companions as I try to understand this period in my life.