Received some feedback that got me thinking.
I received the following:
@Jubilance1922 You attract and love drama and I can’t help but read your tweets. *Hangs Head In Shame* :).
@Jubilance1922 yes it “seems” that way. The substance of your tweets have changed over the past year. Then again it is only my perception.
After I got over the initial shock, I pressed the person for more info privately. The answer? Too much focus on negativity & drama, too little on the fabulousness of Jubilance & her journey through life.
Introspection tells me that’s true. If you read my timeline you’d probably get a completely different view of me than if you read my blog, or knew me IRL. My blog is a space to share snapshots of my life, my viewpoint, my journey. I’ve swung between periods of transparency & censorship, when it comes to how much of my life & my journey I’m willing to share. At this point the pendulum has swung back into the “transparent” realm. My Twitter account has morphed into a place where I vent & tend to say the first thing that comes to mind. I don’t give potential tweets the same level of thought & scrutiny that I do blog posts.
Just reading my tweets, its apparent that I have some conflict in my life currently. Enough conflict to make me extremely upset, hence the venting via Twitter. I wouldn’t say that I love it & the accompanying drama though. I’d much rather avoid it altogether, but my desire to not allow others to disrespect me, especially in a public forum, trumps my desire for a drama-free life & prevents me from simply letting it go.
I have noticed a level of negativity within myself, which has manifested in areas of my life. I do not like or enjoy sending out negativity in the Universe – I know that what I put out is what I will receive back. As an imperfect human, I am always a work in progress. My goal is to be more mindful of myself & the energy I emit to others, and to not allow the negativity of others to impact me. Will I ever be 100% successful at this? Probably not. But I will make my best attempts anyway.