And This Is Why So Many Women Are Scared To Own Their Sexuality

My boo @CocoaLure RT’ed this yesterday:

*sigh*

Let me start by saying a woman made this statement, but I’ve heard similar comments from men as well.

I’m not going to debate whether a 3some is really a train in disguise or not.

What bothered me the most about this tweet, and with this type of attitude in general, is the judgement. The shaming of women who do decide to partake in this type of sexual behavior.What also bothers me is the groupthink vibe I’m getting from this comment.

I decided relatively early in my life that my sexuality was going to be on my own terms, regardless to the opinions of others. Have I been judged for that choice & the things I’ve chosen to do? Absolutely. Has it been worth it? Absolutely. I am who I am, and while I haven’t always made the best choices, but they have been mine to make. I didn’t decide to do or not do something because of the opinions of others – my choices were my own. And that is something that I feel is lacking for so many women. They have a 90 day or 5 date rule not because they’ve decided that’s what is best for them, but because they feel that they must to be viewed favorably by others. They don’t engage in certain acts even though they are very curious & think they would enjoy it, because they fear ostracization & criticism.

I’ve always believed that a person’s sexuality is their own. If they aren’t having sex with me, why is it any concern of mine? Your sexual activities are your sexual activities, and provided you aren’t doing anything illegal or hurting someone else, I wouldn’t give it a single thought. Sadly though I’m in the minority – most people are invested in what others are doing, and use it as an opportunity to degrade and condemn people that they probably don’t even know. Women get this treatment much more than men – think about that girl that you heard about in college that was on tape with the offensive line. You think folks were calling the men sluts & hoes?

Why is it that people are so invested in what others choose to do when it comes to sex?

  • Monique R

    At the end of the day, you are the person who makes the decision to lie down with one or two…or three different people. I think as adults, we’ve all had our fair share of trysts and such. We should be comfortable enough with our sexuality, but particularly with the fact that others are comfortable with theirs as well. We really need to stop the judgement. Perhaps it isn’t judgement. Perhaps its fear that others are ok with speaking up with what they like or prefer.