Contemplations….

My ex, AH, was in town this weekend, on vaca with his family. We wound up hanging out all weekend, which was great. We haven’t seen each other in at least 2 years, and recently started communicating again. I could definitely feel that an attraction and chemistry was still there between us. I think part of that is because we did not end on a bad note, it was more due to circumstance. And he is still a very attractive man.

There must be something in the water, because all around me are conversations about relationships. Here’s a sample of the topics:

“Why can’t Black women find a man?”

“Why don’t Black men get their shit together?”

“Where are the White men?”

“Educated sistas need to stop being sadditty!”

“What are you doing to find a man?”

“Would you move to a city with more men?”

“Are you sacrificing virgins to get a man?” – ok, maybe I made that one up

And my personal favorite:

“If there’s something wrong with EVERY guy that approaches, maybe its you”

I got an issue with the last one. Are you really responsible for who approaches you? Can you stop folks from trying to talk to you? I think no. A lot of men (unfortunately the undesirables) play the law of averages – they know that if they approach 10 women, at least 1 will listen to what he has to say. So he’s approaching 10 chicks, and if you happen to be in his vicinity, he’s gonna approach you. Ugh. Stop doing that!

Now granted, if you continue to date the same type of person over and over and over, then of course, it may be time for some self-reflection. But randoms who approach you? Yeah, you can’t stop that. Unless there is some “random-undesirable-dude-b-gone” spray that I just don’t know about.

I’m still relationship-less, and its basically because none of the guys I’ve met and dated have held my interest, to the point where I wanted to be monogamous. I don’t feel that “zsa zsa zsu” (and if you don’t know what that is, you need to step your SATC game up!) and that’s what I need. Something to keep you wanting that person even when they piss you off to the highest level of pissitivity, and you wanna pull your hair out. I haven’t felt that in a long time, the feeling of more than just lust, but a desire to be the best person I can be cause I know he deserves to be in a relationship with a great woman. Mostly I’ve been feeling attraction, and lust, but that’s it. The “something else” is eluding me. So until then, I guess we’ll keep the party going and keep on keeping on. No sadness from me (for once), in fact I feel very comfortable. Why rush something or try to make it fit to keep up with everyone else? It will come when its time.

  • bummpy

    Saddity? Haha, I had to look that up… shows what kind of a dork I am.It also shows why I never got around to dating any black women I guess.I spent my whole life getting looked down by a large majority of black folks in general (let alone black women) for being too much of a dork/oreo/cracker/whatever. Things were much better by college, but still, it’s not like I had soooo many dating prospects then either.Oh well… you’re still my fav :p