I’m blue tonight….

I feel like I keep making the same post over and over.

Whenever I feel down or sad or melancholy or just plain unhappy, I make the same post.

I should stop that.

Tonight, I went through all 500 of my FB messages from the past 3 years and got rid of the vast majority of them. But the sentimental part of me made me read a lot of them before they got deleted, and some didn’t get deleted at all. Those are from the ex’s…Just like how I never get rid of emails, or cards, or presents, or letters, or anything else from ex’s.

Anyway…It made me wonder, why am I always someone’s ex instead of someone current and future? Every one of them has asked when I’m settling down, and I can’t say its cause I’m procrastinating. Its cause I have no offers on the table. Rejection is one thing, and not being wanted is a whole other ballgame.

Plus, my fear of being 35 with a great career and no mans/family has been flaring up again. Mostly because my career is going SO WELL right now. I’m kicking ass at the job, they love me, I’m really thinking that I’m getting my promotion this year, but as good as my professional life is, that’s how bad my personal life is. Sad.

I got nothing else…I’ll just go be sad while watching Family Guy….

  • honeybfly

    I totally feel you on the not being wanted thing. its very depressing cuz the girl they always want isnt half the woman you are. ughhh

  • Jamie

    Whoa is you…NOT! Happiness is a choice, the moment you decide to be happy no matter where you are in life, the better off you’ll be. So you are 25 and single. Sounds good to me. EVERYONE is rejected until they find the one. None of these guys are beating you down, leaving you knocked up with no options or breaking your spirit. All you are right now is alone. And once you have the mans and the kids, you may never truly be alone again. Two choices, cherish this time or wallow in it. I can tell you the wallowing choice will not change the reality of today. Count your blessings. I know you probably wanted some emphathy, but you gets tough love instead! I loves ya, but I don’t want to see the “same post” anymore.*smooches*J