I’m On The Bench

For the last six weeks or so, I’ve spent my Friday nights on my very comfy couch. Twitter, movies, and takeout have been my standard Friday night plans lately. I hadn’t even realized it had begun to be my Friday night pattern until I went out with my friends a couple of weekends ago.

I started thinking about what had changed in my life, and it suddenly came to me – I haven’t been going out on dates.

Being on the bench is a situation I haven’t experienced in a while, and it’s the first time I’ve experienced it since I’ve been back in Minneapolis. When I moved back last year, I was back about 3 weeks before I started dating, and I dated steadily until a couple of months ago.

So how do I feel about being on the bench? I’m more than good with it. My dating life has been more down than up lately, and that’s mostly been my own fault. I don’t feel the desire to continue to date, so I’m not going to force it. Taking a timeout is always a good thing, and I could certainly put the time that I would have spent going on dates to good use. I have several big things I want to accomplish, and not dating gives me more time to work on those goals. Plus, by focusing so much on my dating life & what I wanted (and couldn’t get for whatever reason), I made some bad choices. I tried to force things that weren’t the best for me. Taking a break is time to re-evaluate & also just relax & decompress from the experiences I’ve had over the past year.

The “white acting black girl” comment from the ex-Twitter crush, along with some less-than-nice comments from the attorney have confirmed that the best place for me is the dating sidelines, until further notice. But I won’t be sitting at home, moping #nobueno. I’m getting my spring & summer schedule together, and I’m going to enjoy every moment. I’m going to Chicago for my friend’s wedding and to Miami for my 29th birthday. I’ll be hitting the lakes, rooftops/patios, parties, festivals & all the other great things that make spring/summer in Minneapolis so fabulous. I’ll also be seriously working on my blog, my business idea (including finishing my business plan) and exploring my education options.

I’m actually enjoying this no dating thing – it’s exactly what I needed. When I’m ready, and I meet a man who is worth coming off the bench for, I’ll do it. Until then? I’m enjoying my life & making moves. 😀

Ever been on the bench by choice? How long were you out of the dating game, how did you occupy yourself, and what made you get back into the game?