Ladies, It’s Ok To Approach A Man

This is another Twitter inspired post. On Wednesday I was checking out the conversation for #MDMW – that’s the hashtag for Modern Day Matchmaker Wednesday. The host Paul Carrick Bronson (@onedegreefromme) does a segment each Wednesday where a bachelor or bachelorette takes questions from the Twitter audience, and if you like them, you can ask to be matched up with them. It’s definitely become popular & has sparked some interesting conversations. During this week’s installment of #MDMW the topic of a woman approaching a man came up.

During the Twitter conversation, I saw a lot of the same responses on the topic that I hear IRL. Things like

“The man is supposed to chase the woman” or

“The right man will find me” or even

“God will bring me my mate”.

Ladies…#noshade if you truly feel this way. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion. But just keep this in mind if you haven’t been out on a date since GWB was in office – it’s perfectly fine for a woman to approach a man.

I’m not advocating that y’all get uber-thirsty & start handing your # out to every random on the street. That’s not what Jubi is saying at all. I’m talking about situations that happen a lot – you’re at the bar/bookstore/wine&cheese/whatever & you spot a cutie eying you. You don’t do the dumb move a lot of women do & look away (ugh I hate that! but I digress..), you return his gaze & even smile at him. We all know a woman smiling at a man is the International Symbol for “come talk to me & you won’t get shot down immediately”. But some men either haven’t gotten that far in the dating handbook, or maybe he’s afraid of rejection, or maybe he’s not sure what to say or a million other reasons. A lot of women will be trying to tell that man to come talk to her via telepathy…but that stuff doesn’t work. So you have two choices, either go say hi or let him get away & then complain about it to your friends later.

Me? I’m a #gogetter, and I’m not constrained by these silly gender rules. I’ve approached plenty of men & I will continue to do so. Granted, I’m a very extroverted person & I have no problem speaking to anyone at any time. There’s been several men who have been happy that I’ve approached them first, and took the pressure off them. I have some male friends who shared with me their angst when it comes to approaching a woman & sparking conversation, so I know a lot of men struggle with this.  You can’t go wrong with a simple “Hi” or “Hello” & a smile, especially with the dimples. Generally a man will take it from there. So for all you ladies who are afraid anti-approaching a man, you can’t be anti-“hello” right? Try it out!

Thoughts? Should the ladies be willing to approach men sometimes?

  • LM

    I wholeheartedly agree that it’s OK for ladies to approach a man. I’m just not comfortable doing so. I would love to be able to approach a guy w/o rambling/sweating/shaky hands. But I haven’t conquered that yet and it’s embarrassing to get in front of a guy and have these issues. The few times I have (I can count them on one hand) done it, these things (or a combo of two) happen and I end up holding my head down in shame and just walk away.

  • Amy TB

    I’m a introverted and shy person. However I would have to admit a smile and hello is not hard. It’s letting a man know you are interested and he can take it from there.

  • With the way some fellas are, I would say it would help if a woman approached the guy if she is interested.

  • just over lunch my friend and i were discussing my post on fear of rejection and how i don’t like approaching strange women. she said the same thing you touched on, that men should always approach a woman. i call bull$hit on that one.

    i’ve been approached a lot by women and i don’t see anything wrong with it. *shrug*

  • I absolutely think it’s ok for women to approach men. I don’t think you should be overly aggressive about it because after all, men do like to pursue so let them have their moment. I do, however, think that you can’t always get by with subtle hints and coy eyes to let a man know you are interested. Sometimes you just have to walk up to them and introduce yourself. I actually annoys me to hear women say they will NEVER approach a man. How backwards is that? It’s ok they fear rejection too.

  • Ms_jones74

    Approach, yes. I’ll say hi all dang day, door wide the fcuk open. If he can’t walk through it, there’s not much I can do to assist the brother. I will not be chasing your shy behind and I will not be making all the moves and the rules for however long we are together. I like a man who takes on that traditional role, no matter who approaches whom first.

  • Isis

    Yeah a woman can approach a man, but I believe whatever you do in the beginning of a relationship sets the precedent for the entire relationship. I rather a man approach me. If he doesn’t that means he’s not interested and that’s ok with me. I don’t think men are shy when they see someone they want. Men go after the things they want whether its a job, a car or a woman. He will find a way to get it. Now, if he approaches you and you like him use subtle hints to let him know.