Men Putting Women On Blast – Justified Or Unmanly?

Tuesday morning I logged into Twitter like I do every morning, and my timeline was on fire, thanks to the antics of @JoeBudden (the rapper) and @Esther_Baxter (the video girl). Seems these two used to date & had a falling out, and decided to take shots at each other on Twitter. Sidenote: going back & forth with your S/O or ex on Twitter, FB or anything else public is just bad biz. Just say no ppl.

At one point Joe Budden threatened to Twitpic some intimate pics of Esther Baxter. I saw reactions that ranged from anticipation of the pic (I worry abt some of yall) to condemnation of Joe, his behavior, & categorizing it as unmanly, bitch-made, etc.

Hmmmm…..

Is it unmanly, bitchmade, etc for a man to strike out at his ex by airing out all her dirty laundry in public?

Clearly Joe has a history of this – he’s been known for talking about his ex’s like Tahiry & Somaya Reese. Sidenote: why do chicks keep fucking with him? You see how he treated the last five broads but you think it wont happen to you? Dummy. Public shaming of his ex’s seems to be Joe’s modus operandi. I’ve observed a couple other examples of men airing out women recently, and I wonder how prevalent it is.

One case involves another Twitter beef *sigh*.  A Twitter flirtation led to a pic exchange, and when things went bad, the pics (of the woman, who had a bf btw) were posted on a blog. In another case, the ex-boyfriend of the rapper Charli Baltimore made a Youtube vid saying some very unnice things about her & recounting some very embarrassing information about her.

In both of cases, I saw the same two reactions – either the women should have acted in a manner that would have prevented said airing out (especially in the case of the chick sending pics to a dude that wasn’t her man), or the man was always wrong & wack to pull such a stunt, no matter what the woman did.

Granted it’s never a good move to act a monkey with someone who has the power to put you & your biz on front street. But does the perceived slight/betrayal/offense justify the public shaming of another person? Is this behavior even more unacceptable because it comes from a man? For a lot of folks, the answer is “yes”.

I get it – hurt people do irrational things & act out. But this airing out of all your ex’s biz in an attempt to hurt them seems so petty & juvenile. And yes, grown men should be above that. It seems like the equivalent of women who will mess up a guy’s car after the relationship goes bad. And don’t mistake me, I expect grown women to be above that petty behavior as well.

Is putting your ex on front street the new hot thing for the fellas? Or is it wack & they should be ashamed of themselves? Is this a simple case of payback or something more?

  • Threerings1911

    interesting question with a grey answer. Grey because if the lady does not perform certain things that she gets outed fort could still make her seem undesirable. It seems like a slippery slope. It is easy to say “well she should not be sending pics, sucking his dick, etc” but if she is in a relationship, what should she do?

    I do not think it is wack out of hand nor do I agree with it but I do understand when it gets done. Depending on what she did, a dude can flip all the way out. Should he know better? yes. Control himself? yes. At the same time, when this happens, most dudes want to hold the woman accountable for her misdeeds and break the phoney imagine she may have put up.

  • Randy Watson from the

    Yeah, I think putting people on blast when the relationship is over is pretty wack… Joey was wrong but he doesn’t think he has to take responsibility for his actions because its his “job” to be real and honest…

  • The Doctor Jay

    Well, Joey is wack. But this is what I wanted to say about men putting women on blast. I was having a conversation about social capital and college last night. I said that, men get away with a lot of crap in college because they know more people. That’s why TONS of women find themselves in bad positions with Greek males in college. She was like why. I said well most girls are sitting there thinking, everyone knows him and only a few people know me. They think that if they don’t go along with the show that frat boy is going to ruin their social life.

    Same thing with Joey basically he’s the dude that keeps messing with chicks who stand up for themselves. So he reverts to his defense mechanism which is putting her on blast. The problem is that once you get to a certain age women ROLL TOGETHER. Joey hasn’t learned that by now. He would do better to just stop talking to the chicks and then publicly hollering at other jawns other than what he does now.

  • I see Doctor Jay’s point, but I’d offer a slight digression on that. It’s not that men know more people, but it is about social capital. Women–to their credit–are more forgiving (and I believe, WOULD be more forgiving) when men have public falling outs (within reason) or develop a whore’s reputation. Men (typically) are more concerned with what their boys will think so they can’t be seen with the girl who did XYZ and had the Twit pic that showed AB and C.

    On Joe Budden: Dope rapper, super emotional dude.

    On the topic: “Exposing people” is bad business. At some point in time you learn to cut your losses and keep it moving. It’s not unmanly or unwomanly (well, it is that too) to “expose” someone for the sake of doing so, it goes against common decency.

  • After reading the background, I’m siding with Joe on this one. Average Joe putting chicks on blast is still whack.

  • Sometimes its justified. Joe Budden is an artist. What else do you think he would do. Eminem made a career out of putting his MOTHER and Ex on blast. All the reality shows with these dusty exes put men on blast daily and women thoroughly enjoy it. Whats good for the goose…..

    • Anonymous

      Eminem – He blasted his folks in his music, he didn’t threaten to post Twitpics. Two totally different things IMO.

      • Em didn’t have Twitter at his disposal. Joe blasted all 3 women you mentioned in songs. The most recent one here http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/singles/id.14810/title.joe-budden-ordinary-love-shit-pt-3-closure

        • Anonymous

          Not just songs too. He’s taken to Twitter. He’s been trashing them in interviews. He’s made YT vids.

          • Like I said, he’s an artist. Emotional, arrogant, egotistical, self serving ppl. But that is what makes them good at what they do. What do you expect? He used everything in his tool box. Threats of releasing pics are words, videos are words, twitter..just words. Sue him for slander or beat him at his on game. As long as he makes that green stuff and able to buy shiny things, women will still flock because like fish, some women can’t resist something dangling and shiny.

          • Anonymous

            So what about men who ARENT celebrities, artists, rich, etc? Are they allowed to do this too, or do only rich musicians get a pass?

            I think you’re way too bogged down in the specifics here. I’m talking about the behavior & whether or not its “ok” for anyone to do, regardless of what precipitated public slander, or the fame & wealth of who did it.

          • Its not a matter if its male or female then. Calling them “bitchmade, unmanly, etc..” equates to a man acting as a female or with female traits. We give women a pass so yeah..give him a pass. Emotions are hell sometimes.

          • Anonymous

            Do women really get a pass tho? When a chick keys a guy’s car or puts him on DontDateHimGirl.com, that’s doing the same thing right? I dont see women getting passes for that kinda stuff.

  • Anonymous

    It’s simply not adult behavior. Doesn’t matter if a woman does it or if a man does it. It’s childish.

  • CJ

    Joe was wrong. If you’re hurt, you’re hurt. No need to air out dirty laundry in an effort to shame or embarrass someone else. I saw some of that twitter beef and it was utterly ridiculous! It just makes both of them look stupid. Him for putting it out and her for responding in kind.

    I know of a beef between a soror and her exfiance on FB. It was a shame and she looked dumb for putting their business out there while he didn’t respond and moved on to the next. Smh… anyway, as adults we should know how to handle situations better than this. Its truly a hot azz mess when grown ups act like children.

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