Everybody knows and reads PostSecret nowadays, unless you’ve been hiding underneath a rock. I even did my own secret revealing in my old blog, which proved to be very therapeutic. Today I pulled up the site and two postcards really spoke to me…..
Well, obviously the first thing that drew my attention were the chemical structures…but also the idea of not quitting it….I spent many sleepless nights worrying about disappointing everyone because I was so unhappy in my PhD program. I wished there was some way that I could either become a genius overnight or at least tolerate it so I could finish. And there are days when I feel like a loser and a quitter because my friends will soon be Dr. So-and-So’s and I won’t *sad face*. But at the end of the day, I KNOW I made the best decision for me and I haven’t looked back. Oh, and I called my friends, they didn’t write it, but they said it sounded like something they would write as well. I guess I wasn’t alone in my feelings…
OMG, someone else knew exactly what I was feeling, made a postcard and mailed it in for me! This card EXACTLY sums up how I feel about my life, and why I went on man hiatus, and why I have such a fear of being alone…Its not that I’m scared to be by myself, its that I fear that I’ll never been good enough to be anything more than a sexual object. To whoever wrote that postcard, THANK YOU for being brave enough to put out there what I’m afraid to say to myself sometimes.
Oh, and this weekend I didn’t do anything except a lot of shopping, and I bought some clothes that I never thought I would be able to wear….This weight loss thing rocks!