Sharing Space

Today is Day 7 of my 30 days of blogging challenge.

According to my list, today’s topic is my favorite childhood toys. That’s lame.

Google Reader was being lame today, at least on Internet Explorer (don’t judge me, my workplace is still on that). I’d didn’t get a chance to comb though the Jezebel posts until I got home, and when I did, I found this post interesting – The Secret to a Happy Marriage Might Just Be Living Apart.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, an estimated 3.5 million married couples in the U.S. have found a solution: Living apart. New Yorkers Allen Sheinman and his wife, Collette Stallone, did just that. “We decided right away that we were going to keep our own places,” said Sheinman. “What it would mean is that we could be married and still feel like it was dating, and it actually wasn’t a bad way to go.”

Married couples who live apart for reasons other than legal separation as nearly doubled since 1990, when roughly 1.7 million American couples did it. How much of that is for financial reasons, however, isn’t clear. Whereas couples like Shainman and Stallone live in the same city but in two different apartments, Candice and David Knox live and work in different states. “People think that we’re weird,” said David Knox. “When you’re married, you’re supposed to live together. It just freaks them out.”

Interesting concept.

I’ve never lived with a boyfriend. I haven’t had a roommate since senior year of college, so it’s been almost 10 years since I’ve shared space with another person \. I know that I’m very spoiled, having lived alone for so many years. I can have all the closet space, sleep in the middle of the bed, and I can leave dirty dishes in the sink as long as I want. I watch what I want to watch, if I snore there’s no one to hear it and I can set the thermostat to whatever temp I want. When I want company I can hang out with the homies, and when I want to be alone I can stay in my apartment.

I wonder how I’m going to adjust when I do get married. I’ve said that my preferred living situation with my future husband is side by side townhouses. We could hang out with each other at someone’s place, have sleepovers & whatnot, and then when he was getting on my nerves or I needed some space I could go home or send him home. I’d have plenty of closet space, and I wouldn’t be bothered if he left puddles on the bathroom floor.

Having two separate homes might be expensive though. At a minimum I’d need separate bedrooms. We’d still sleep together most of the time, but I’d need my own room to have my own space. I’m also a person who can’t sleep with noise or light, so if he’s a snorer, I’d need my own bed. If he’s one of those people who falls asleep with the tv on, I’m gonna need my own bed. Besides, sleeping together every night isn’t an indication of how committed two people are. I’m sure there are plenty of folks who sleep together every night who have no devotion or fidelity to each other.

I’m not one of those people who has to be up under my significant other all the time. I enjoy doing things together, but I also cherish my personal space, my down time to just think and reflect alone. A few weeks ago I was on vacation, on a cruise ship with 6000 other people. I spent a week sharing a spacious stateroom with my mom and sister, and by the end, the thing I wanted most was to lay on my couch alone. I spent some time on the ship laying out by the adults-only pool, in search of some solitude. I don’t see this need for solitude changing as I get older, so I’ll definitely need my own space when I do cohabitate.

I know I can’t be alone in this. Am I?