How come no one told me that last week was “Men are going to tell women what they can/should do with their bodies” week last week? Is that like a new holiday or something? Seemed like everyday there was some type of memo handed down. From who/when a woman to have sex, to making sure her panties & bra match, it was quite an informative week.
The events of last week really highlighted a core issue/problem for me – how pervasive patriarchal ideals (especially related to sexuality) are in Black culture & how many people, both male & female, buy into them.
My sexuality is my own. Its mine & no one can take it from me. No one can dictate to me what I should or should not, can or cannot do with my sexuality. The opinions of all others are not required nor desired. I live by my own standard & hold it only to myself. This is my own personal definition of sexual freedom – to live by my own standard, to choose for myself & to be accountable only to myself & whomever I’ve given my allegiance to. To some, this makes me a hoe/slut/tramp/etc #ohwell. The opinions of others about what I do with my body and with whom is immaterial to me.
Some of the men expressing their views may very well have had good intentions…but good intentions or not, its not a man’s place to tell women collectively, any woman individually, what her sexual definitions should be & what standards she should live by. Its simply not the place for anyone other than the individual woman & women as a collective.