Maternity Leave Is Giving Me The Time To Watch All These Shows Yall Been Talking About For Years

During my pregnancy, I really looked forward to my maternity leave. I was pretty much over work by the end of my pregnancy – waddling into the office, running to the bathroom every five minutes, and I found it hard to focus. I was ready to stay home and snuggle with my baby girl, which I’ve done since she was born.

I planned to breastfeed, and I knew going into it that I’d spend a lot of time feeding the baby…but I had no idea just how much time I’d spend in front of the TV! Especially in the early days, with Phi cluster feeding, it seems like I stayed glued to the TV while she nursed for hours. Initially I was watching my go-to faves, like Grey’s Anatomy and Archer but that got old fast. One night around 2AM, I decided to start exploring the offerings on Kodi (app on the Fire TV stick) and I realized that instead of watching old stuff I’ve seen before, I could watch new stuff! Thanks to Kodi, Prime TV and Netflix, I have access to all these shows that I never watched when they were on-air.

And that’s how I ended up going down the rabbit hole with several TV shows. First one I started was Nip/Tuck and I was hooked instantly! From the first episode, I knew this crazy show was right up my alley. It’s so over the top and crazy, just what I need when I’m in my nursing chair with the baby. I’m about halfway through the series and I really don’t want it to end. BTW, I’m watching using the Phoenix add-on in Kodi, as the show isn’t available on Netflix.

Via Netflix, I started watching Damages, the Glenn Close show about a law firm, and that one got me quick too. I love a show with a strong female lead and a mystery, and it doesn’t disappoint on either front. Unlike Nip/Tuck, I have to pay attention while this one is on, so no middle of the night watching for me.

This weekend we also randomly started watching The Good Wife. I’d seen my folks on social media rave about the show for years but I never got around to watching. I love the format and some of the characters, though it moves slightly slow. It’s hard to watch a 24-episode season when I’m used to watching cable shows which typically have much shorter seasons.

Since I have this free time on my hands, what older shows should I watch? I’ve seen Sons of Anarchy and Mad Men. I have Breaking Bad on my list, and I have zero desire to watch The Walking Dead. I was thinking of maybe watching The Sopranos since I didn’t watch it while it was on. Anything else?

“Sex and The City” Is A Terrible Example Of Relationships

I discovered Sex and the City randomly. I was 17, in high school, and chilling at home for some reason. I must have caught a marathon or something, because I was hooked after that first viewing. 17-year-old Jubi was amazed and enthralled with these four women, living the type of life I imagined I wanted to have as an adult. On the surface, you wouldn’t expect me to be drawn to this type of show – what does a 17-year-old Black girl from the Midwest have in common with four White women in their 30’s in NYC? There shouldn’t be much, but I instantly gravitated to the characters, especially Carrie. I felt a common spirit who was looking for the one thing she ever wanted, love. It’s an experience I related to even as a teenager.

From that first viewing, I was a loyal SATC fan. I missed Season 3 due to living in a dorm with no cable (#firstworldproblems) but I managed to catch up thanks to the cable provided in my intern apartment. I even had the Season 2 box set on VHS, which I watched and rewatched until I knew every episode by heart. After the show ended its run, I bought each season on DVD and they have been played over and over again. Even now, I watch reruns on cable channels, even though I know they are heavily edited. SATC was part of my journey into adulthood and each time I watch an episode, I’m transported back to my younger self.

So you can imagine the sheer horror I felt a few months ago when a realization occurred to me – that SATC is a really bad example of relationships. Sure, it’s a tv show and not a how-to manual, but really, it served as a terrible example of what to do in relationships for its younger viewers. Let me explain…

SATC revolved around the lives of four women and their relationships. The key relationships in the show were between Carrie and Big, then Carrie and Aiden; Miranda and Steve; Charlotte and Trey, then Charlotte and Harry; and Samantha and lots of guys. In each of these relationships, these women made horrible choices, the biggest offender being Carrie and her inability to leave Big alone. Time and time again Carrie went back to Big, even going as far as cheating on Aiden with Big. Why? Cause she loved him. That’s it? Love was making her act a damn fool for a man who acted like he didn’t want her the majority of the time? He’d treat her like shit and she’d claim she was done…until he’d do one little thing and then she’d be back for more.

Miranda wasn’t much better with her constant back and forth with Steve. Steve was actually a great guy and perfect for her, but she made the man jump through so many hoops he could have joined the circus & become a performer. Eventually she got her act together and realized he was the one for her, but you also had that feeling that she felt like she was settling for Steve and their family. Charlotte was the classic “I want to get married at any cost” type of woman and it totally bit her in the ass…In Season 3 she meets Trey, gets engaged, gets married and gets separated…all in the same season!

Last weekend I was catching a few random reruns of SATC and a lightbulb went off in my head. I realized why I gravitated and identified with SATC so much during my formative years – because these four ladies were going through the same things I was going through, at the same time. I’d had a guy in my life that I went back and forth with; I’d pursued a serious relationship with a guy solely cause I wanted to be chose; I had been in love with a guy who treated me like an afterthought. I understood the struggle of going out with horrible dates, hoping to find that great guy in the bunch. I felt the pain of choosing the guy who made your knees weak instead of the guy who treated you like a queen. And I had that great group of girlfriends who helped me through the ups and downs of relationships.

Why does a young woman in her college years relate so well to the experiences of women supposedly in their 30s? Well that’s cause SATC really wasn’t shit. Seriously. I don’t say this lightly. How the hell are women in their 30s out here making the same mistakes that I made at 19, 20, 21? Shouldn’t they have made those mistakes in their 20s too? Shouldn’t you get to your 30s and actually know how to not fuck up relationships? So why are four very grown women making juvenile mistakes? And even when they get to their 40s, they still continue to fuck up – just see Carrie’s stupid decision to marry Big after he left her on their wedding day, as proof of that.

Since I figured this out, I haven’t been able to look at SATC the same way. All I see are immature women making dumb life decisions, instead of entertainment. Each time I see Carrie pining over Big, I see a woman who stuck with a man who left her, then married another woman, then cheated with her, then left her again, and then finally decided he loved her right at the moment she found happiness with someone else. Talk about a basic bitch! She put up with years of Big showing her that he gave not a fuck about her, and she stuck in there just waiting for him to finally give her some attention. Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha all eventually got their act together and figured it out, but not Carrie.

I’ll always be a fan of SATC, and I’ll enjoy the entertainment value…but I will never look at the characters the same way I used to. At the same time, at least I didn’t have to reach my 30s to figure out this love thing and get my act together. If only the ladies of SATC had done the same.

Recap of the Season 5 Premiere of “The Game”

It’s been a year since BET brought The Game back to tv. The last season was…interesting. It left some to be desired…but sadly I couldn’t stop watching. So I’m back for Season 5.

When we last left the cast at the Season 4 finale, a lot was going on. Malik had confessed to fucking the team’s owner’s wife, & his boo had fallen off the wagon. Jason became a full-time parent to the new Brit Brat, who sucks btw. Kelly couldn’t get her shit together & went to go find herself. And Melanie & Derwin tried to have a baby with no success, which led them to a fertility clinic…and which led to Derwin asking Melanie about an abortion from her past. Yeah they left us with that crazy ass cliffhanger & they better answer it in tonight’s 1 hour premiere.

Aight so the season premiere opens with Melanie telling Derwin to come to grips with her having an abortion; Jenna laid out in Malik’s garage; Jason trying to defend himself with some random ass bottles. Weird. All that before the damn credits. What the hell do they have planned this season?

When we return from commercial break, we see that it’s 12 hours earlier. Melanie & Derwin are leaving the doctor’s office. Derwin’s pissed & wanting to talk about the abortion, while Melanie is fine & denying it ever happened. She leaves & winds up talking to herself outside. And then she runs into McHottie, that skanky doctor she was being all trashy with. And he makes this comment about not wanting kids & how Melanie knows that (hmmm….). Derwin arrives & there’s some non-witty banter between McHottie & Derwin – really we could have cut all this btw. Derwin’s clearly pissed….alrighty. Next up Jason & some random ass broad. They just fucked & now she’s leaving…oh wait, is that Selita Ebanks? Wow…anyway, Jason is all bitter abt some new football player & being corny. Switch to Malik carrying in Jenna’s drunk ass into his house, where Tasha tells Malik to call an ambulance or a doctor or something because she’s too far gone. She’s really fucked up, this is all bad….

Commercial break – already I see they are gonna cram as much stuff as they can into this season premiere. Alrighty then…

We return to Melanie & Derwin, AGAIN. This time they at home, and Melanie’s making dinner. Apparently its DJ’s birthday & they are hosting a party. Derwin keeps wanting to discuss things & Melanie shuts it down. Finally Derwin apologizes for letting her down & letting her have an abortion back in college, while Melanie looks at him like he’s crazy. She just makes a face but don’t say anything. The scene switches to Malik who is trying to nurse Jenna back to health. Tasha interjects in her sassy Black woman way & then collapses into tears. TeeTee consoles her with wings & a listening ear. But before he can really listen, Malik shows how dumb he is. Isnt he tired of playing the dumb blonde? Switch to Jason at the bar, being a dick to the bartender. Look its Brandy! She gives Jason some attitude to which he responds in his normal dickhead manner. He’s too light-skinned to be such an asshole. He gets Brandy fired #boooo. And….now we’re back to Melanie & Derwin – they are out & about & run into Trey Wiggs. Apparently he’s married now (to a Black girl) and has a kid. Derwin invites them to DJ’s party….and now we’re back to Malik’s dumb ass. He’s searching his house looking for Jenna. A wrinkly old White woman comes looking for Jenna with a gun in her purse. Damn really? Before we can process this, we’re back to Jason & the bad Brit Brat. She’s out kissing some White boy outside of the movies & Jason rolls up & shuts it down. He’s all offended that his daughter doesn’t like Black guys – ole hypocritical ass! Malik & Tasha are still looking for Jenna & Tasha tells Malik that he needs to cut Jenna lose. After Malik storms off, TeeTee tells Tasha that she needs to do what’s best for her, not for Malik (which is so true btw). Malik finds Jenna in the garage, laid out, either drunk or dead. Tasha assumes dead but that probably means she isn’t.

And we’re halfway through…damn I’m tired already! I need these writers to space out some of this stuff. We can’t have all this randomness in one episode.

We return to…you guessed it….Melanie & Derwin. And we see Derwin on the damn toilet #ewww #gross. Melanie asks how Derwin knew about McHottie & he responds that what’s done in the dark will come to light. Melanie takes that to heart & decides to confess that she was pregnant by…Trey Wiggs! Damn I was #teamtreywiggs too…anyway, he’s pissed off as you can imagine. He’s pissed that she told him but she stands by it. They have a hurtful ass argument where he says she killed a baby & is barely a doctor (that’s way harsh btw). And here comes Kanye in the background which means we’re about to switch to…Malik’s garage. Everyone is freaking out & the white woman comes in, stabs her in the chest a la Pulp Fiction & Jenna comes back. Apparently the White woman is a drug dealer – who knew? Jason the Jerk rolls up in his Prius & finds Brandy at the bus stop. He says some more asshole stuff & then gives a half-assed apology. He goes from offering to take her to Chili’s (wack!) to waking up somewhere in Mexico. He realizes that he & Brandy got married – whoops!

Time for a commercial. Aint this episode random as hell?

We return to Brandy explaining to Jason how they end up in Mexico & married. Random! Oh well. We switch over to Melanie who wakes up in bed alone, Derwin’s side wasn’t even slept in. And then we leave – weird! Now we’re at Malik’s. Apparently the drug dealer slept on the couch cause she waiting on her money. TeeTee again tells Tasha to leave Malik & look for herself but she refuses. And then gives the drug dealer a Black card to pay for Jenna’s drug tab. Who knew high-end drug dealers took AmEx? I learned something new.

Commercial again – anybody going to see Red Tails?

We return from the commercial to Jason trying to call San Diego. Brandy is giving her best Black girl with attitude impression. They into in an argument about race & Brandy tells me that he is ashamed to be Black & he wants to be White. After denying it, he gives some random ass anecdote about how Black girls didn’t like him when he was a kid. Cry me a damn river. So Jason loves White women cause they were down with him before he was a big football star. Oh well. Back to Melanie & Derwin – she’s decorating for DJ’s birthday party. He wants to talk & she shuts him down because the guests are coming soon. They start icing cupcakes & now Melanie wants to talk about how she did what she did cause she wanted to be with Derwin & he couldn’t handle seeing her with another man’s baby. She shares that Trey doesn’t know & that she stole money from Tasha to pay for it (remember in Season 2 when she got that knockoff?), Back to Malik & Tasha – Malik agrees to take Jenna back to rehab. And Tasha tells him not to make her regret taking him back as a client. Malik & Jason arrive at DJ’s bday party. BTW, Tommy that crumping clown is the entertainment – remember him? We get our first shot of Janay at the party. Derwin tells Melanie that he lets go of the abortion issue because of what Melanie has to go through dealing with Janay & DJ. Derwin & Melanie agree to make an honesty pact (shouldn’t they have done that BEFORE they got married? I digress…). Derwin goes out to get the gifts, and Trey Wiggs rolls up to the party. And Derwin turns & sucker punches him! Knocks him out cold. Lays him out! And then he goes back into the party like nothing happened.

And that’s the end.

Damn there was a lot of stuff in this episode! I don’t know how I feel about this season so far…whatever happens, it will definitely be full of drama.

The Vh1 Formula for “Reality” Shows

I have a love/hate relationship with many of the shows on Vh1. I hate that I lose so many brain cells while watching their poorly scripted, mind-numbing brand of entertainment…but I can’t turn away. It’s a train wreck of epic proportions.

After several years & several “reality” shows, I’ve come to see that every show on Vh1 is really following the same formula. Let’s see…

Start with a central theme, something related to fame that the viewing public will watch & criticize – whether it’s athletes, musicians, addicts, mobsters, or the women who love them. Most regular people are obsessed with celebrities & their lifestyles, because of the aspirational factor. So you don’t need A-listers on these shows, just those who are close enough to the celebrity lifestyle for viewers to tune in.

Find some people who will do anything for a check & a mention on the blogs – there’s a reason why you see has-beens, formerly broke folks & those trying to make a come up on Vh1 shows. They need money, but more importantly, they need to be the center of attention. They need people to be talking about them on Twitter, in the blogs, in beauty shops, etc. Who cares if they are discussing how dumb you are for having 4 kids for a man who left you with no money, the point is they are talking about you now, right? The key is to find people who are desperate for both money AND fame, because that’s means they will do pretty much anything on-camera, and they will do it for cheap.

Appoint someone as the ringleader – This could be the main character of the show, or it could be the most likeable of the randoms who signed up for a check. Whoever they are, the ringleader has to pretend to be friends with all the other characters on the show, so that manufactured outings can be filmed & pseudo-drama can erupt. Sometimes the ringleader is in the drama, and sometimes the ringleader sits back and watches as two characters fight in a nightclub. The ringleader needs to remain a character that the viewing public will like, or at least tolerate as the other characters act a damn fool.

Find a villain, even if they don’t even fit into the theme of the show – The key to these shows is drama, and you gotta have a bad guy to make the drama really happen. So you can either make a villain out of the cast you already have, by turning the characters against each other, or you can go out & find one who has absolutely nothing to do with the theme of the show…like a video girl hanging out with the wives & ex’s of D-list basketball players. The villain is a person who is willing to do even more to get some shine than the rest of the cast. They truly believe in that old adage “there’s no such thing as negative publicity”, and thus are fine with being the bad guy if it means more mentions on Twitter. I wonder if they get an extra $50 in their check for playing the villain #hmmm.

Put together some random outings, including drinks, meals, and at least 1 trip where the drama is maximized – Vh1 producers have learned a lesson from their Viacom brothers at MTV – if you keep the cast drinking, you will keep the drama flowing & the ratings up. So make sure you schedule lots of outings involving liquor & keep the cameras rolling. This is a guaranteed way to get folks to act a damn fool & more importantly, have folks tune in. The ringleader will be facilitating these pointless events & leading the characters in pretending that they hang out like this all the time, while they look at each other stupid & encourage the one married character to get a divorce.

And finally, when you start filming your next season, check out whatever the show before you did so you can top it – Just like how Wall Street investors aren’t happy unless a company has record profits year to year, reality show viewers aren’t satisfied with the same level of drama as last season. You’ve got to up the ante if you want to keep viewers & folks talking about your show on Twitter. And that’s how you go from yelling at each other in the finale, to having a fist fight in the first episode of your next season. What’s next – hiring a hitman on-camera? Wait, don’t actually do that yall.

Think about it – every Vh1 drama-filled show falls into this same formula…from Basketball Wives to The T.O. Show to Mob Wives…they all follow the same pattern.

So why the hell are we still watching???


Five Reality Shows That Need To Go Away

I probably watch more than my fair share of reality tv. What I can say, I grew up on it, beginning with sleazy talk shows, The Real World, and Road Rules. Lately though I’ve been very frustrated with reality tv, and I want 90% of it to go away.

So without further ado…Five Reality Shows That Need To Go Away #posthaste:

*All the Real Housewives franchises – This show was fresh & new with the Orange County cast, entertaining with the NYC cast, and prime gossip fodder with the Atlanta cast. Since then they’ve added New Jersey, DC, Beverly Hills and now Miami. I’ve heard rumblings that a Houston cast in development. What’s next – Real Housewives of Oklahoma City? Come on man! Each cast tries to trump the previous iteration, which means more drama, more gossip, more cat fights, and more importantly, more people trying to pretend to be something they aren’t solely to get a little shine on tv. Folks are being foreclosed on, having cars repossessed, are $20 million in debt, catching cases, and even crashing White House events just so they can be on tv. I call #shenanigans on it all, and I want it all to go away. NOW.

* Maury, Jerry Springer, and any other sleazy talk show still on the air – Remember when you were in like 6th grade & your favorite past-time was to watch fights on shows like Ricki Lake, Maury & Jerry Springer? Yeah….that’s not entertaining anymore. So why is Maury still on? And why the hell does Jerry Springer still have a show, do people even watch it? I’m convinced that Maury is paying folks to pretend on these paternity and lie detector episodes. Every episode is just way too fake. I refuse to believe it’s real, because to do so would eliminate any faith I had in mankind. I need Maury & Jerry to go ahead & hang it up.

* The Real World – how sad is it when the show that started reality tv needs to go away? But it does. I just saw a commercial for the new season (they doing Vegas again – really MTV? Yall couldn’t find anywhere else to do it?) while I was watching Jersey Shore #dontjudgeme and all I do was sigh. Remember when The Real World was interesting, and the people in the house did more than just drink, hook up and fight? Seems like light years ago. The Real World used to show topics that were relevant – homosexuality, HIV/AIDS, abuse, addiction, etc. Remember when the housemates had real jobs, & relationships, & were actually interesting? Now the show has just become a vehicle for people to see fights & random hookups between the housemates & whoever they bring home.

* America’s Next Top Model – *sigh* Tyra, I really do respect your hustle. But damn, can we finally let go of ANTM? How many cycles have there been, 50? Do we really need any more “top models”? Does anyone even still watch? I quit after the season where the plus size girl finally won, that’s Whitney right? This show used to be entertaining, but there’s only so many times where you can do the same thing over & over before you drive your viewers crazy. This show was cute & clever in 2003…now its just boring & dated. Time for a new hustle Tyra. I’m tired of you & the smizing.

* Vh1 & all of their “reality” shows – Yes, the entire channel needs to go away. Vh1 has somehow morphed into staged & skewed reality tv-central, and I detest pretty much every show they have on the air. #Icant with the dating shows, whether its Chad OchoCinco Johnson pretending to look for love or Chili throwing herself at a different man every week. #Ireallycant with the Ex-wives, baby mamas & groupies Basketball Wives or the Football Wives either. It hasn’t aired yet, but I can already tell that the Love & Hip Hop show is gonna be a train wreck. And now they wanna give Carmelo & LaLa another show? Yeah……#no. Vh1 just needs to go off the air completely. I’m tired of their foolishness.

What do you think of my choices? What shows do you think need to go away?

BET Has Ruined “The Game”

Remember when they were on the CW? Ahh the good old days...

Last night the third episode of Season 4 of The Game aired on its new home, BET.

Quick recap for those who haven’t been keeping up:

Melanie & Derwin are married, & she quit her residency to be a baller’s wife. She screwed up & DNA tested Derwin’s son erroneously, which caused him to initially question Janay about paternity. Janay responded by filing for child support & custody in court. Tasha Mack has been humping a closeted gay dude Terrence J & caught feelings, and also has been managing Derwin & being her normal loudmouth self. Kelly & Jason are divorced & going through some thangs – Kelly is filming a Basketball Wives-esque reality show while Jason wound up getting cut from the Sabers & is now doing commentary on tv. TeeTee has quit as Malik’s do-boy & now runs a mobile chicken wing stand. Malik is being reckless, he’s currently humping the new Sabers owner’s wife, and even gets down with TeeTee’s girl in the hot tub.

*sigh* Already this new season on BET started off with both a bang & a fizzle. The first episode was an hour rather than the standard 30 minutes, but even that wasn’t enough time to devote to each storyline. And the time that was devoted was quite choppy – there’s no overlap or seamless segue between the various characters & their storylines. It’s as if each character has their own show, instead of this being a show with an ensemble cast, as it was previously on the CW. The previous seasons had multiple storylines, but each one fed off the others & the transitions between plots worked. There wasn’t a need to fit each characters drama into every episode; different characters were the focus of the episode each week which gave the overall show a balanced feeling.

Now that the series is back to its standard 30 minutes, the disconnect between storylines & the choppiness is even more apparent. It feels like the writers are simply trying to cram as much drama as they can into 24-26 minutes of on-screen time. It almost feels like a soap opera, but with worse shooting & less dramatic music. Simply too many characters all trying to hog the spotlight & no editing to something that the audience can handle.

Beyond the issues in screen-time, the actual writing this season has left much to be desired. I don’t know what happened to the original writing team, and how much influence BET/Viacom has on the writing process, but the audience can detect a very noticeable difference in the writing compared to previous seasons. What used to be smart, funny, & cute is now overdone, overly dramatic & down right distasteful. Last night Tasha Mack actually used the word “cooch” in a scene…TWICE! Come on now, do we have 12 year olds writing this show now? What happened to adult dialogue? With the change in writing has come a change in the characters as well, which has become glaringly obvious. For example, Melanie went from being a young woman determined to be both a good girlfriend/fiancée/wife while also being a successful doctor, to now a glorified trophy wife & insecure snob. Malik, while he always had issues, has become a caricature of a successful athlete – selfish, reckless, arrogant, & unapologetic. Instead of really developing likable characters, this new writing team has simply relied on those tried-and-true caricatures to base their characters on. Those who are fans of The Game are fans because of the characters & their relatability/likability. The characters in their new form are neither relatable or likable.

 I really liked this show in the past, but in its new form I don’t enjoy it at all. The Game has become a shell of its former self, and is really suffering in its new environment. As anticipated as it was, it’s disappointing that what we’ve seen so far is the product. Not only does it not live up to the hype, it doesn’t even live up to the previous seasons, which is unfortunate.

Vh1, Stop With The “Reality” Shows

Vh1 went from the land of old people tv to Reality TV headquarters seemingly overnight. Check out their programming any day of the week, and they are running some type of reality show, normally centered around a celeb (and I use that term very loosely). From the dating shows (Flavor of Love, I Love NY, Rock of Love, etc) to the contests (Ms Rap Supreme, Charm School, I Love Money) to the dramatic (Basketball Wives, Celeb Rehab with Dr. Drew, etc).

Vh1 has decided to add yet another reality show to the mix. We’ve already seen the lives of basketball “wives” (code for ex’s & baby mamas) and football wives…now they are going to show us the lives of the women who are dating hip-hop artists.

Titled “Love & Hip Hop”, this show is going to follow current & former girlfriends & wives of men in the hip hop industry. The cast includes Christine Lampkin (Jim Jones’s girlfriend), Emily Bustamente (Fabolous’s girlfriend), Mashonda Tifere (Swizz Beatz’s ex-wife), Somaya Reece (Joe Budden’s ex) and Olivia (former “first lady” of G-Unit)

*sigh* Where’s Wendy when I need her?

Do we really need this show? I think not. I really don’t care about what Fabolous’s (ugh I hate how he misspells the word fabulous) baby mama does everyday. I especially don’t care about women who used to date rappers. Plus look at who they actually got to do this show – Fabolous & Swizz Beatz are the most well-known out of the 4, but Jim Jones & Joe Budden? Do we really care about their chicks (except of course to ask why Jim’s girlfriend lets him walk around looking like Pigpen, but I digress…)? And then of course there’s the oddball, Olivia…unless she dated a rapper that we don’t know about, why is she even on this show? Was she ever famous to begin with?

I’m sure like the rest of theVh1 shows centered on the women behind “successful” celebrity men, this show will follow a predictable script. There will be scenes of these chicks in forced interactions, where they pretend to be BFFs since birth & show off fabulous things that the show provided. There will be some type of scripted drama between the ladies which will cause 2 teams to be created. If viewers are lucky, they’ll see a good curse out and/or some physical violence. In between the orchestrated outings & fighting, we’ll see the ladies deal with their relationships or lack thereof. And then by the finale they will all come together to rehash their feelings about each other.

I’ll pass.

This show is gonna be an absolute mess. And Vh1 knows it, which is why it was green-lit. The women who are on this show fit that “reality star” mold – willing to do anything to be famous & get some shine, even if it means embarrassing yourself & your man on tv. Is it really that important to be famous? Or is the goal (for at least 2 of these women) to let the rest of the world know their title, thus keeping the groupies away? At least one man who has a significant other on the show has been linked to several other ladies in the gossip blogs – who knows if its true or not. But what better way to do a virtual MoKenStef & sing “He’s Mine” to all the other chicks & groupies who have gotten with your man.

When did it become hot in the streets to give ex-girlfriends/wives & baby mamas reality shows? Seriously?

Will you be watching “Love & Hip Hop” when it premieres on March 21? What do you think about this show? Has reality tv gone too far?

Season Premiere of “The Game” – Jubi’s Recap & Review

After a very loooooooooong hiatus, The Game is back! I was a fan of this show when it was on the CW, so I’ve been eagerly anticipating its return. Do Derwin & Melanie make their marriage work? Does Malik ever settle down? What happens to Kelly & Jason? And…..what’s up with Tasha Mack & Rick Fox? LOL!

The season premiere was one hour #yay & it did not disappoint. The episode started two years from when we left off. Derwin is first on the screen, being a star, mobbed by the paparazzi. Next we see  Tasha Mack, who informs us that Derwin has become a huge star with Nike endorsements & whatnot. Jason Pitts is now a sports commentator, we see him on site. Malik is still Malik – he’s making out with his new girl (Megan Good) in the bathroom & she’s smacking him around. Kelly is filming a reality show & tripping in her expensive heels. And Melanie is in her photoshoot with her hubby Derwin for Ebony (nice pub btw!).

Janay & little DJ end up at the shoot, and the ladies actually manage to at least pretend like they get along. Tasha, being the hater she is, starts talking to Melanie abt how DJ hasn’t darkened up & he might not be Derwin’s #hater. BTW, the actor they have playing the baby is cute but those cornrows? #notcute. Anyway, Malik’s hosting a dinner for the new minority owner for the Sabres…and it doesn’t go well. The new owner talks about how Derwin is the franchise, and Malik is not happy. Luckily the new girl steps in & cuts the night short…So the new girl is Megan Good, who was just making out with Malik in the bathroom – turns out her boo is the new owner! #drama

Now we’re back to the Davis’s. Derwin is giving his son a bath, but he’s gotta run so Melanie convinces him to let her take care of the little guy while he leaves. She also drops during this time that she didn’t finish her residency, just like I figured, but I digress.

Jason is on a tv show “Benched” with Chris Webber (older but still a cutie) and turns out Jason is holding out from the Sabres. He refuses to go to another team. Next thing you know, Kelly ends up on the show via Skype, where she tells him she has a reality show called Ex-Ballers Wives (is that gonna be on Vh1?). While Jason gets over the shock, we join back up with Melanie who is entertaining DJ in the tub. For some reason she’s talking to the baby about his hair texture & skin color using bath puppets #weird. Luckily I don’t think he understood.

Tasha walks in the house looking for her man…and its Terrance J! She’s robbing the cradle like a mufucka! She was slobbing him down & stuff, talking bout “why you take a shower without me?” #huh Then she tell the man to get funky again…but he decides to just open his towel instead & apparently Tasha liked it. After she gets her freak on, she heads over to Melanie’s house with the proofs from the Ebony shoot. Melanie confesses to giving the baby a DNA test #moredrama! Melanie says that she’s cares for DJ & Derwin would be crushed if the baby wasn’t his (and she also mentions that she just postponed her residency – yeah right). Tasha & Melanie go back & forth with the accusations (“you a gold digger” vs “you triflin for swabbing the baby”). So apparently Tasha rebuilt Derwin’s career (interesting…) & now Tasha thinks the baby & Janay are ruining Melanie’s perfect life. Melanie’s friend calls with the DNA results & then they leave us hanging…

Hey TeeTee! Apparently he’s running a chicken wing truck. Malik rolls up with Megan Good (was is her damn name on the show?), where he orders some food & orders TeeTee around even though he quit being Malik’s assistant months ago. TeeTee warns him to not get caught cause he’s risking his career.

Back Tasha & Melanie – Melanie calls Kelly with the news that DJ isn’t the father. Tasha & Kelly go back & forth – apparently Kelly is still pissed that Tasha hooked Jason up with Camille (Stacy Dash) two years ago. I need her to let that go. Anyway, Tasha tells Melanie to keep the news to herself. Later, Melanie is at home having some wine when Derwin gets home from training camp. The two spend some time chitchatting before Melanie confesses to the paternity test. Derwin of course flips out & says he doesn’t want to know the results, no matter what DJ is his son. But of course Melanie blurts it out anyway & Derwin’s so mad that he punches a hole in the wall. #Damn that’s some fucked up ass news & a fucked up way for Derwin to find out.

Alright so now we’re back to Malik & Megan Good making out in a different bathroom, with the manager banging on the door. These fools break the sink! TeeTee manages to smooth things over with the club owner. TeeTee tries to talk some sense into Malik again but Malik gets all sensitive about it. TeeTee tells Malik to get someone else to clean up his messes cause now he’s a business man (I’m feeling that). Malik walks out & then we move to Kelly & Jason trading custody of their daughter in a parking lot. BTW, the new Brittney is too grown! Anyway, Jason tells Kelly to stop with the reality show, and he also tells her that her haircut sucks (I have to agree with that). Kelly talks a bunch of shit to Jason about how she won & she’s spending all his damn money.

Kelly leaves & now we’re back to Tasha & Terrance J (I think his name is Dante). Apparently he got a contract to do Malik’s video game release party & says he & Tasha can go together, but Tasha isn’t feeling that. She starts suggesting different girls for him to go with, but he says he wants to take her & he also wants to meet Malik. Tasha is resistant & they have a serious convo about their relationship. Tasha convinces him that they should keep it casual & light.

We’re back to Derwin & DJ – they are on the porch & Derwin is talking to his son. He starts talking about his son’s features & his beef with Melanie. Janay shows up at the house. Janay coincidently has the same purse that Melanie had at the Ebony shoot, just in a different color. Derwin remembers how Melanie said that Janay just wanted everything they had, and he asks Janay if DJ is his. And of course BET goes to commercial, gotta always leave us hanging.

So Melanie meets up with Kelly, who is filming her show at a dermatologists btw. Melanie says that Derwin left so she’s getting residency applications in case Derwin leaves her. Kelly tells her to work on her marriage & not give up, oh and that she’s gonna beat Tasha’s ass if she catches her in the street. Now its time for Malik’s video game release party. Jason asks him about cover curse, and Malik flips out (again!). Even Tasha mentions the curse & how Derwin turned down the cover because of it. Tasha compliments her man but doesn’t allow him to show her any affection in Malik’s party. Ok so Sheree from #RHOA makes a damn appearance & calls Terrance J a pig. Then some other random chick rolls up & gets into it with Tasha, which makes her realize that Terrance J likes older women. She feels played, snaps on him & rolled out. Malik tries to get TeeTee to take him home, but TeeTee says he’s not he’s flunky anymore & declines. TeeTee’s boo, my bad life partner, says she’ll take Malik home so he can work the wing truck. Now back to Girl Melanie –  she’s sitting at home when Derwin walks in finally. She’s ready for a fight but he walks in the house in tears. He knows now that DJ really isn’t his child & he breaks down in Melanie’s arms.

Ok so while Derwin is crying, Tasha is sitting on the couch all mad when Terrance J walks in. He asks her why she’s upset when she wanted to keep it casual while he wanted to be serious. She confesses that she was fine with him being with young girls but she expected to be his only older chick. He tells her to just admit that she has feelings for him, and she does. He assures her that it’s not a cougar situation (why did I immediately think of Vivica! I’m bad) & that they should figure out the next move. So I guess they gon be a couple.

Next Kelly is still filming her damn show, she’s having a meal with these broads on her show when Jason walks in with a random brown-skinned chick named Peaches. Kelly is pissed & especially pissed that her crew leaves to go hang in Jason’s cabana. Even the damn camera crew leaves & Kelly is pissed! Switch over to TeeTee arriving at Malik”s new house, which is ridiculously huge btw. TeeTee starts walking around the house looking for Malik & finds him in the hot tub with Megan Good & TeeTee’s boo (hell naw! that’s fucked up!). TeeTee is obviously pissed & Malik is basically like “fuck yo couch nigga!”. Damn…now back to Melanie & Derwin at the house. The phone rings & turns out Melanie’s friend made a mistake & DJ really is Derwin’s child. Of course she doesn’t tell him the truth immediately. We gotta have something to talk about this season right? And with that, we reach the end of this long ass episode.

First, recapping a live episode is hard work! Alright now that I’m done & the episode is over, let me give my two cents. I’m happy to see this show back, and to also have the longer format for the first episode. I don’t know if I like all this cutting back & forth tho; when the show was on the CW it seemed like the storylines were more integrated with each other. The writers definitely disappoint with the drama, we had more than enough in this episode.  Yet a lot of it was predictable – it was apparent that Melanie was gonna do the test, but also that there was gonna be a twist with the paternity issue. It was clear that Tasha was gonna fall for Terrance J & that TeeTee’s girl was gonna get dicked down by Malik. *sigh* hopefully there will be more suspense in the rest of the season. And hopefully there will also be better acting, some folks in this episode left some to be desired.

Overall I’m happy The Game is back & I enjoyed the episode, just for the Twitter commentary.

What did you think of the episode? What do you think will happen this season?