It’s been a while since I’ve been in a serious relationship. A long while. I’ve enjoyed my single life quite a bit. Being single, you live your life a certain way. You come & go as you please, you can flirt with whoever catches your eye, and you have carte blanche to think solely about yourself. You get used to just doing you & living that single, carefree life.
And then you start a relationship, and all that changes. And I wasn’t prepared for the changes. I’ve been so used to just doing me, that its taking me a bit to get back into the groove of thinking about someone else in addition to thinking about me.
Things that I don’t give a second thought about, he does. Things that I don’t care about, he wants to know every detail. Stuff that didn’t matter when we were just friends, matters now that we are a couple.
I think I took for granted how easy it would be to be in a relationship. I figured that if I was with the right guy, it would all come super easy. But no matter who I’m in a relationship, the adjustment is going to be hard. It’s a different experience. It’s a change, and change is always uncomfortable.
I also thought this would be easy because AS & I have been friends for so long. We know each other so well, and that was one thing that made me think our relationship would be comfy & easy. As well as we know each other, we know & relate to each other as friends. Knowing & relating to each other in a relationship? Totally different & not what I expected at all. In some ways, it feels like I have to get to know him all over again, and he has to do the same with me. It’s been frustrating coming to that conclusion.
As I navigate this transitional period, I find myself asking myself questions that I haven’t asked myself in a long time. Wondering just how far I’m willing to go for my relationship; how much I’m willing to sacrifice for the good of my relationship; if I’m making the right decisions – not just for me, but for us. It’s tough to go from being self-centered to trying to integrate your life with someone else’s. All I can do is give it my best effort & hope he’s doing the same.
When turning the corner from friend to significant other…how do you let go of the person you knew as a friend so you can get to know the person as your significant other?