I had a frustrating but enlightening conversation on Saturday afternoon. I met this Kappa last week, and we had 1 of those “getting to know you” convos. Anyway, somehow we got on the topic of Black relationships and Educated Black Women (EBW).
Basically, his argument was that EBW’s arent getting married or cant find men because they are too cocky and arrogant. He says that EBW’s have made it a point to show everyone what they have and how independant they are, and things wont get better until EBW’s become more humble.
I must admit, I got very defensive during this conversation. I think its a natural reaction anytime that a grooup or subset that you belong to is criticized. I’m in the EBW club, and I feel like a lot of times we as a group get a bad rap and unfairly targeted.
Yes, there are a lot of dumbass chicks running talking about how they dont need men. Yes, there are a ton of dumbass chicks rubbing everybody’s nose in the fact that they got 8 degrees and make 6 figures. But why assume that we ALL are the same way?
What bothers me most is how so many Black men will constantly complain about how they dont want to be penalized for the behavior of the previous dude…yet they treat all EBW’s as if we are man-hating bitches who want to castrate men and spend all our time in the boardroom? Assuming that we’re all the same and thus a group to avoid at all costs is frustrating and hurtful.
I remember when I jokingly threaatened to quit Black men after a series of bad dates. Every Black man I know came out the woodwork to protest that I was unfairly penalizing the entire group for the behavior of a few…yet that is exactly what many of them is doing to EBW’s! Do they not see the hypocrisy?
I dont think the answer to the issues surrounding Black relationships among folks in my generation isnt as simple as “be more humble”. What are your thoughts?