In two weeks, my life is going to be completely different. After almost a year of long distance love, WM and I will finally be together in the same place! I’ve never cohabitated with a significant other, but I’m looking forward to the journey with him. It will be a learning experience for us both. I’m just happy that we’ll be done with weekend visits, expensive plane tickets, and Google Hangouts when we miss each other.
I’m super excited, and lots of people have heard my great news. People are understandably excited and asking a lot of questions – are we getting a new place, the logistics of the move, etc. But one question keeps coming up and it’s irking me something crazy.
People keep asking me when I’m going to move to DC.
They aren’t asking who is moving, they are assuming that I would be the one to move to him. The idea that a man would relocate for a woman doesn’t even cross their mind. I guess they assume he has the better job, or that I’d pick up and move to him. Or maybe they assume that I’d rather live in overcrowded, expensive DC instead of Minneapolis, which I love (outside of this crazy winter we just had).
I wouldn’t be annoyed if they asked who was moving, and I’ve been asked that several times as well. What annoys me is that idea that I should be moving to him, or that I should want to leave Minneapolis cause DC is so much better. DC is cool and at one point it was on my list of cities to move to, when I was trying to escape Orlando. I enjoy my time there, especially when I’m with LM. But WM moving to Minneapolis is the best move for us, and he’s extremely happy to be moving here. We’re both happy that we won’t be dealing with DC traffic or their ridiculous cost of living. Given our life plans, me moving to DC was never an option.
I just wish that people could at least entertain the idea of him moving here, for me, without me having to explain all the reasons why. It’s as if I need to justify to them why I’m not moving…and yeah I know I don’t HAVE to do it, but I choose to because I hope that I’m educating in the process. Plenty of couples make the decision jointly on who will move – sometimes it’s the woman, sometimes it’s the man, and sometimes both parties pick up and move somewhere new. In our case, we chose the option that made the most sense for us given our life and financial plans, and that means he’s moving to me.
At the end of the day, I don’t really care…as long as we’re together 🙂