The Social Media-Relationship Struggle

First a story, then some thoughts…

It’s Friday, my boss is out sick, and I have zero motivation to actually be productive even though I have deliverables & deadlines looming. I’m indulging in some Twitter randomness, and during that, I tweet that no one is checking for me on Twitter (which is true btw, I’m so not popular in these Twitter streets…but I digress…). The comedy continues until a guy replies to my initial tweet with “yeah, you’re right tho”.

0_o excuse me? This is interesting…considering that this same guy used to text me & be on my phone telling me how interested he was & how he wished he wasn’t so far away to visit.

Granted, he & I have had conflict on the Twitter before, & I’m got a small tolerance for perceived disrespect. So I called him on it. We go back & forth for a bit, but I leave it with a “it wasn’t nice, if you really feel that way you should keep it to yourself cause that was mean & uncalled for”. I think it’s dead until I get a text.

What did the text say? “The truth is…I was going to respond nicely & say that I’d check for you…but in order to keep the peace within my own relationship I decided that it would have been better for me to be a jerk. It was rude, classless & in bad taste & for that I am sorry…”

I appreciate the apology…but the first thing I thought was “you had to slander me publicly in order to keep the peace in your relationship? Your girl that insecure?”

I’ve seen a lot of this thinking on Twitter lately. Men proclaiming how they don’t like any IG pics of a woman, or even follow any women on IG. Why? To keep the peace in their relationship, because they aren’t trying to be questioned abt what pics they liked, if they are cheating, etc.


I can promise you, I’ve never paid attention to what pics were liked by a guy I was dating. I’m not stalking his Twitter, his FB, his IG, etc. I wouldn’t have even occurred to me to pay attention to these things…cause it wouldn’t indicate to me that a dude was cheating or his attention was elsewhere. Yet somehow I’m in the minority about this. How did this happen?

Listen, I had a dude cheat on me for our ENTIRE relationship. Like he had a gf when he met me & he conveniently got amnesia about that & didn’t remember for almost 2 years, even after he asked me to marry him. I had a feeling something wasn’t right but I still didn’t go hunting for info. It’s just not my nature. I don’t have the time to be stalking social media, analyzing every “LOL” or character in a tweet to figure out if he’s cheating or not. And a guy complimenting another woman doesn’t threaten me at all. But apparently I’m in the minority?

I’d love to hear from the men who have to go through this – why do you put up with it? Why is it necessary to be an asshole out in the streets in order to make your girl feel good about yall relationship? Do you think that’s healthy?

And in case it wasn’t clear…its not nice or appropriate to slander a chick so that your girl won’t get upset. Stop that shit.

  • I don’t buy into that ideology. If I like a pic or think someone’s funny, I’ll react. My wife would too as it applies to her likes.  We don’t have issues in that department and if we did, we’d talk to each other about it and work it out that way. However, there are guys who either deal w/ women who are that suspicious, have dealt w/ women who are like that and project that onto all women they deal with, or make assumptions based on stories from their boys.  Whether they’re right about their suspicious women or not, that’s something they should either address as soon as possible with her or choose not to deal with it & her.That’s just my take on it.

  • Just_A_Thought1218

    This ish right here … And really, the people who do this should be ashamed of themselves, because they are good and grown (well, of adult age at least).  If you are slipping in your relationship and undermining your girl’s trust, if she is that insecure that she thinks you cheating via the web is a viable thing likely to happen, then neither of you nignogs need to be in a relationship.  Let alone with each other.