The Worst Thing You Can Call A Woman

I’ve been meaning to write about this, since the first time this happened to me, in the fall. It happened to me this weekend, and I just had to write about this.

I have a really bad habit – I believe things that people say to me. I know, I know, who does that? Apparently Jubi does. I give people the benefit of the doubt, and I assume that they are telling me the truth when I have no reason to believe they would lie to me. Maybe I need to re-think that strategy, but I digress.

Last fall, I was dating someone. And we had some pretty serious talks. Talks that involved the future, specifically a future that included the both of us. Because I have a bad habit of believing people when they say things to me, I erroronously thought that these things were said in sincerity. I’m not the type of person to say that I’m going to do something when I know I have no intent on every making it happen, and I tend to forget that other people don’t operate under the same standard. Anyway, when things started to change, I brought up all the plans that I had been made, and I inquired as to what had happened & what had changed. And that’s when I heard the worst insult I’ve ever heard in my life.

The absolute worst thing you can call a woman is crazy.

Calling a woman crazy is offensive because it’s so dismissive. It basically says “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, and you’ve made it up, or hallucinated it, or whatever. But whatever it is, it has absolutely no basis in reality & you’re tripping”. And to a woman who KNOWS that she’s speaking the truth, and that the man is simply using the “crazy” label as a way to get out of whatever jam he’s gotten himself into, that is beyond insulting. Its offensive.

You can call me a bitch. You can call me a whore, a slut, a tramp, whatever. You can even us the (other)  c-word & y’all know how I feel about the c-word (if you don’t know what c-word I’m talking about, just think about it for a minute). But DO NOT CALL ME CRAZY.

It’s not crazy to expect a man to keep his word. To expect him to be sincere. To assume that people won’t lie to you, especially when they don’t have a reason to. And it’s not crazy to remember what has been said to you, and to recall it when a person doesn’t live up to the standard that they themselves set.

What IS crazy is to say you’re gonna do ABC and then do XYZ instead & not expect someone to call you out about it. Seems like there’s a lot of men walking around out there not expecting anyone to notice or comment on their bullshit behavior. Sorry fellas, I’m not the one to turn a blind eye. You make a promise to me, I’m expecting you to keep your word.

I’m a lot of things, but crazy ain’t one of them.

  • Kai

    Well a lot of men make plans for the future and say we, we, we all the way home to get what he wants. After he does he gets a severe case of amnesia when u call him on his plans/words. I think they use the word crazy cuz they are basically saying you were crazy to believe I was being honest. I’ve learned words don’t mean shit. Watch his actions. He’ll show you better than he can tell you. Also, a man that is sincere doesn’t sell you hope of a bright ass future after a short period of time. He let’s his consistent actions over time speak for him. Its happened to me so I’ve learned to not give a shit what he says but believe everything he does.

  • Kai

    I tried to comment from my phone. Damn BB. lol

    Well a lot of men make plans for the future and say we, we, we all the way home to get what he wants. After he does he gets a severe case of amnesia when u call him on his plans/words. I think they use the word crazy cuz they are basically saying you were crazy to believe I was being honest. I’ve learned words don’t mean shit. Watch his actions. He’ll show you better than he can tell you. Also, a man that is sincere doesn’t sell you hope of a bright ass future after a short period of time. He let’s his consistent actions over time speak for him. Its happened to me so I’ve learned to not give a shit what he says but believe everything he does.

  • @Ms_Jones74

    This phenomena has caused me to never believe a got dang thing that comes out of a man’s mouth. SHOW me and I’ll believe you.

  • Just Jeannie

    *Hugs* I soooooooooo feel you on this.

    And yet when you enter into relationships with (some) menfolk with a healthy amount of skepticism you are accused of being a bitter man hater…

    Relationships are enough to make a body crazy for real.

    • See, I would co-sign with the frustrations of women & relationships with their men if they didn’t

      a) Choose sorry ass men
      b) act up in courtship

      Women do so much lying while the man is in pursuit of the P*ssy… but then want that same man to keep it real with her in relationships…

      love the hypocrisy

      • I’ll agree with A but B I dont know about…

  • Amy

    I feel you on this. I erroneously believe since I wouldn’t fudge the truth about what I can do, others would do the same. I’ve learned that I can’t do that anymore. Actions speak louder than words. Through my recent experiences, it was a hard lesson to learn but lesson that I needed to learn. Good post

  • That was wrong what he did… & I do not defend bad behavior

    He was OUT OF POCKET… #StopTheBitchassness

  • Dee

    Not for nothing but sometimes folks ARE crazy and NEED to be called out for it. I understand what Jub is saying in this instance but there are times when people need to be told to STFU cause you really do not know of what you speak. In this instance, if dude made a promise it should have been honored. However, there are other instances where tales are told and folks do act out of bounds.

  • Dee

    Also, instead of saying crazy can I just use the other stuff you said Jub? lol

    • Try it & see what happens…

      • Dee

        lol if a woman is acting crazy, she will be called such. No country for not holding people accountable because they are a woman.

        • I never said it was offensive if it was appropriate.

          I’m talking about men who use the crazy label as a way to shut down conversation or take the blame off themselves. Stay on the topic Coach!

  • Dee

    lol in that case, dude is wrong or would have been better off saying I made a mistake, sorry.

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