I’ve been meaning to write about this, since the first time this happened to me, in the fall. It happened to me this weekend, and I just had to write about this.
I have a really bad habit – I believe things that people say to me. I know, I know, who does that? Apparently Jubi does. I give people the benefit of the doubt, and I assume that they are telling me the truth when I have no reason to believe they would lie to me. Maybe I need to re-think that strategy, but I digress.
Last fall, I was dating someone. And we had some pretty serious talks. Talks that involved the future, specifically a future that included the both of us. Because I have a bad habit of believing people when they say things to me, I erroronously thought that these things were said in sincerity. I’m not the type of person to say that I’m going to do something when I know I have no intent on every making it happen, and I tend to forget that other people don’t operate under the same standard. Anyway, when things started to change, I brought up all the plans that I had been made, and I inquired as to what had happened & what had changed. And that’s when I heard the worst insult I’ve ever heard in my life.
The absolute worst thing you can call a woman is crazy.
Calling a woman crazy is offensive because it’s so dismissive. It basically says “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, and you’ve made it up, or hallucinated it, or whatever. But whatever it is, it has absolutely no basis in reality & you’re tripping”. And to a woman who KNOWS that she’s speaking the truth, and that the man is simply using the “crazy” label as a way to get out of whatever jam he’s gotten himself into, that is beyond insulting. Its offensive.
You can call me a bitch. You can call me a whore, a slut, a tramp, whatever. You can even us the (other) c-word & y’all know how I feel about the c-word (if you don’t know what c-word I’m talking about, just think about it for a minute). But DO NOT CALL ME CRAZY.
It’s not crazy to expect a man to keep his word. To expect him to be sincere. To assume that people won’t lie to you, especially when they don’t have a reason to. And it’s not crazy to remember what has been said to you, and to recall it when a person doesn’t live up to the standard that they themselves set.
What IS crazy is to say you’re gonna do ABC and then do XYZ instead & not expect someone to call you out about it. Seems like there’s a lot of men walking around out there not expecting anyone to notice or comment on their bullshit behavior. Sorry fellas, I’m not the one to turn a blind eye. You make a promise to me, I’m expecting you to keep your word.
I’m a lot of things, but crazy ain’t one of them.