From the comments:
Once again, you are settling for less than you are worth. Why would your feelings dissapate with the only man you feel you could settle down with right now? If you rekindle the friendship, you’ll just continue to see how fabulous he is and torture yourself with liking someone you can’t have.
I thought you weren’t going to live your life w/o regrets. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. How would you feel if 30 years from now you found out he was feeling you too? That’s a lot of wasted time.
Rejection is always a possiblity, but it’s also a possiblity that you could get the person you’ve always dreamed of.
He’s in China, no better time to put yourself out there than now. If you don’t get the answer you want, he’s in an entirely different continent. Good luck! – J
JM, I love you homie. And I appreciate the words. And you are so right. So am I being such a wuss? I’m so scared to verbalize how I feel about him. And it would kill me inside if he 1) said he didn’t like me like that, or 2) started dating someone else (providing that he isn’t dating someone right now and just hasn’t told me). My need to not have my feelings crushed is preventing me from putting it out there…How sucky is that?