I have always been a planner. Ever since I was a child, I had plans for my life. What I was going to do, where I was going to live, who I was going to marry – you name it, I had it in my life plan.
And then I started living & I learned that life does not follow one’s plans. I actually think life laughs at your plans.
As my life diverged from the one I saw in my dreams, I felt that anything that took me off the path I set myself upon was a waste of time. I had a goal, a destination, and these detours & roadblocks were doing nothing but delaying me from reaching my destination. It annoyed me, it aggravated it, it flummoxed me. What was the point of it all? Why couldn’t I just get to where I wanted to be without all the extra stuff? What was even the point of the extra stuff?
For many years I was obsessed with the destination. The journey didn’t matter. I was just in a mad dash to reach what I thought was the important part, to carry out the goal.
It took years, a lot of stress, a complete change in my life philosophy, and my good friend FS to help me realize that I had it all wrong.Its not about the destination – it’s about the journey, and the experiences along the way. It’s about living in the moment, remaining present in the NOW, and allowing each experience to become a part of the fabric of my life.
Learning to live in the now helped me see that no time is wasted. Every experience is a time to learn, to reflect, to feel joy, etc. I now can appreciate things for what they are, and appreciate the time that I spent during that experience. Whether its having dinner with my friends, or a relationship that ran its course, it all serves a purpose in my life.
A lot of people think that if they don’t reach a predetermined result, that the time they spent engaged in an activity/pursuit is wasted. You hear that a lot when it comes to relationships – if a couple doesn’t get married & stay married forever, then the relationship was a waste of time. I used to think that way too, and it took me dating the attorney to realize just how wrong I was. While I didn’t achieve my goal of a long-term relationship with him, I look back with fondness at the time we spent together. I needed that journey, that experience of dating him, to grow & get to where I am now. And I enjoyed the majority of the time that we did date – the talks, the dates, the meals, and the other things we shared. It was what I needed at the time, I just didn’t realize it until later.
Time is only wasted if you refuse to allow the moment to be what it is.
Do you believe in the idea of wasted time? Thoughts?