People love advice. People definitely love to give advice, but they love asking for & receiving advice even more. I see it all the time, people constantly asking for advice, for everything from the big things (like what to do with their lives) to the little things (like what to have for lunch).
This constant demand for advice & affirmation drives me crazy.
It seems to me like people are just unwilling to even attempt to live their lives completely on their own, and figure it out as they go along. Most people need a cosigner on every decision they make in life. I guess this makes them feel like they are less likely to make a bad decision? Or maybe it gives them some security in knowing that if someone else cosigns on their decision & it goes badly, they aren’t solely to blame? Either way, some people go through their day without making a single decision 100% on their own.
One of my fave bloggers is Belle from A Belle In Brooklyn. She has a Formspring account, and it’s amazing to see how many “what should I do?”-type questions she receives. Complete strangers go to another stranger to figure out what to do in their career, education, personal relationships, etc. I’m curious about the people who ask for her advice – she doesn’t know them, and only gets a snippet of their situation. What is the motivation behind asking a complete stranger what your next life move should be? Are they looking for confirmation on what they were planning to do? Or are they really so lost & unable to make a decision that they would leave it up to a stranger?
What happened to the days of people learning from their experiences? Simply going out in the world, trying different things, and learning, essentially, “the hard way” sometimes? It seems as if everyone wants a road map & GPS directions on life! Even seemingly simple decisions such as what to have for lunch or if a dress is cute can’t be made unless a council of elders gives their blessing on the decision. Every life decision is made not by the person actually living that life, but by others.
What happened to trusting your instincts?
I know everyone asks for advice, including me. I’m too much of a thinker to not get counsel on what I deem important decisions, or when I encounter a problem that I don’t hold subject matter expertise in. But I don’t live my life requiring the cosign of others – for many things as long as I’m happy with it, I roll with it & the opinions of others don’t matter. In many areas of my life, I’ve learned to trust my instincts & tap into that side of myself & allow it to move me in the direction I should move. Do I make mistakes? Absolutely. But making mistakes is a part of life, and learning from experience is a part of the road map of life that I’m developing for myself.
No one else can live my life. The experiences of others are good, but at the end of the day, only I know what’s best for me. And my experience & circumstances can turn out completely different than someone else’s, which is why sometimes gathering advice is pointless. Too often people don’t trust their instincts & intuition, which is so vitally important.